The dating game has changed. People don't necessarily meet at restaurants or bump into each other on the train. Old time meet cutes aren't what's in. The new way to meet people is through dating apps. Everyone with a smart phone currently has access to hundreds of men and women in which they could potentially date… scary, right? Now don't get scared. There are a lot of positives to dating apps; your dating pool is expanded, a lot more fish in the sea, ability to scan your potential dater, etc.
Here are some general things to consider for first dates-- whether we met them online or simply ran into them on our way to a heat game.
1. What do you want?
A mature and great way to weed out the “bad seeds” on whom you don’t want to waste your time with. BUT it can also be a great way to freak your date out. Nothing is quite as freaky as meeting someone and talking about how your first kid MUST be named Nicholas, all before the drinks came to the table.
2. Drinking too much
Dating is tough because you want to be authentically yourself, but you definitely don't want to be sloppy. Sloppy people aren’t attractive especially in the beginning stages of a possible relationship. It happens to the best of us. Definitely has happened to me and those dates did not go anywhere.
3. Past Relationship Talk
This is a tough one because of course you want to learn where they are at in life and if they broke up with their past significant two years or two days ago. Someone that broke up with someone last week is in a completely different mindset than someone who has had a year to process and get over it. The conversation should definitely be brought up on date two or three but avoided on date one. Date one is about learning the basics and seeing if the basics attract.
4. Calm yourself down
Do not get ahead of yourself… Do not have expectations in your mind of what the night should be like. Most of the time it will not play out like the scenario in your head and you will be disappointed. Also nothing feels as good as going into a date with no prior expectations.
5. Smile bright
I always say to have floss and breath mints in your bag or pockets. Nothing is worse than looking at someone with food in their teeth. No one wants to be that person-- especially on a date. And who knows where the night might end… with a smooch! So, always be ready.
6. Therapy stays in Therapy
I am always down for therapy sessions but typically not on the first few dates. You definitely want someone you can talk to about anything with but the first few dates are for learning about each other and not having the entire date be centered around your problems. Best thing anyone ever told me is that most people just want to talk about themselves. Selfish but I have found it extremely true.
7. Do not be the Therapist
I have thought these things in my head during dates but bringing them to surface is a big no. If you realize the girl you are on a date with has “daddy issues” from the way she is speaking, its best to keep that thought to yourself on the first date. More appropriate conversation when its not your first time meeting…
8. What is important to you!
Discussing things in which are important to you is probably the biggest DO on this list. Why wait on seeing if the person you are dating see eye to eye on particular things that interest you? You don't want to get 6 months into a relationship and realize he hates dogs and you want to own 6! Stakes are low in the beginning
